spoonfork

A gun in the oven is not A Full Metal Chicken.

If you are longing for a movie where you are you not merely watching it, but are told the story, then, may I suggest Big Fish. Here is a movie where cerita dongeng buffs will likely like. Very interesting tales of circus and werewolves and giant. Trademark Tim Burton style. I can't help but draw comparison with Edward Scissorhand - the town of Ashton is just like the Edward's town! Other than that good acting - Ewan McGregor, where in Trainspotting his character is so real and where in Moulin Rouge he was just plain mushy, as Edward Bloom he displays very little energy - like he's character is fabricated. Albert Finney brings an extra urgency to the movie, while Billy Crudup is just plain depressing. Jessica Lange also gives very strong performance as Edward Bloom's loving wife.



Adding to the soiree are Steve Buschemi (Mr Pink in Reservoir Dogs, Donny in The Big Lebowski, etc), Danny DeVito, and others.



I'm no movie critic, but if the Spoonfork says that a movie is worth the RM10.00, go see it.



Listening to: Moby - Run On

Oh MYFGawd! People side-talkin' yo! There's like, lots of pictures and stuff. It's so funny yo!



Thanks Grace



Listening to: Moby - Honey

I have, yeah, I'm ashamed to admit it, two of the most mentally-dysfuntional friends one could ever wish for. First, there's Frymysquid who changed his nick to BigCockStupid. No need to point out the obvious fact that that nick is the most obviously horrible nick, ever. Then there's the relationship between them. Which, of course, was made public in this posting. (including a letter).

Dear BigCockStupid,



They say no one is irreplaceable. That, however, is total bullshit, as you are instantly replaceable, BigCockStupid. You just don't inspire me. You're like watching re-runs of "Gilligan's Island." The plain truth is you plain suck. Living you with was like living in a nursing home. You even smell like an old person. Being with you scared me: | didn't want to die of boredom. The only time sex in your bed was any good was when you slept on the couch. |t's true that you can marry anyone you please. The problem is you don't please anybody. You have a condition known as Optical Rectalitus. That's where the nerve in the eye crosses the nerve in the rectum. |t gives you a shitty outlook on life. Remember, |'m better than you and always will be. |t's not my fault, just a matter of natural selection. Do yourself and your long-suffering parents a favor, draw a picture of a puckered anus around an electrical socket and stick your tongue into it. BigCockStupid, we've been through a lot together; and every bit of it was your fault. Of all the happy memories you've given me, writing this dumped letter is the happiest of them. Let's both go somewhere where we can each be alone.



Yours freely,



Alphademon

No, I am not jeles... you two dysfunctional fella have a good male-bond going on, so be it



By the way, what the fuck is optical rectalitus?



Listening to: Bone Thugs N Harmony feat. Biggie - Notorious...

http://grouphug.us/confessions/248474754:

The first time I ever ejaculated from masturbation was at a counter in a Chinese takeaway. It was a high counter and the food wasn't ready yet. The woman serving sat down and I was left standing there. Being the randy teenager I was, I started feeling myself, safe in the knowledge that she wouldn't see me. The next thing I knew, this uncontrolable feeling was overwhelming me! I just remember the sheer look of horror on my face and the woman looking up when the semen splattered on the stone floor.



Luckily I didn't get caught, but I haven't looked back since!

http://www.masturbationhorror.com/reader.shtml:

I am a 24/7 male sex slave for Mistress Linda. She does not allow me to have sex with her. My main duties are to allow her to inflict pain on me. She allows me to masturbate only when she is present and she is sitting on my face.



About a month ago, Mistress Linda was very mad with me, as I did not finish washing the dishes. She tied me up and really slapped and whipped my penis. She then got a brillo pad, lubricated my ass well, and inserted this wire thing up my ass. It was very painful.



Next, she got this injector thing and some Tabasco sauce. She sucked up some of it into this injector, and then proceeded to inject it into the tip of my penis. It was the most painful thing, I begged her to stop. She just laughed and then used a penis pump on me.



She then tried to pull out the brillo pad. But it was stuck.



Linda took me to the hospital, where they removed it. They called the police. I did not press any charges and told them it was mutual. The doctors told us to be careful.

Listening to: Metallica - Master of Puppets